America Talks About Renée Zellweger’s Face While World Goes to Shit

Alissa Kokkins
October 22, 2014

(TheAntiMedia) In the vapid social pisshole that has become the United States of America, news broke yesterday that Renée Zellweger has been making rounds at parties and elite shindigs with a different looking face. While mainstream media further perpetrated misogyny and unrealistic beauty standards for women by pumping this into the public zeitgeist ad nauseam –

Here are ten actually important things that happened while Zellweger was being face-shamed:

10. White people were granted the privilege to riot purge over pumpkins and football.


9. To paralyze the public and desperately hold onto its position of dominance, the corporate media continued its latest fear mongering campaign.


8. A “sagging pants is not probable cause” mural of Mike Brown was buffed by the city of Trenton cause the police department whined.



7. “Bullshit news” CNN was heckled and kicked out of Ferguson. ON AIR.


6. Two people, including Missouri state senator Jamilah Nasheed, were arrested in Ferguson.


5. Chicago cops shot and killed 17-year-old Laquan McDonald for allegedly slashing the tire of a cop car.


4. Israel’s genocide in the open air prison that is Gaza is still a thing.

3. One billion people don’t have access to clean water today; 10,000 of those households are in Detroit, MI.


2. 21,000 children died from poverty today.

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1. Scientists cured the first person ever of paralysis and may soon be able to offer the cure to millions who are paralyzed. This of course is not a shitty thing, but a wonderful discovery. However, a groundbreaking cure flying under the radar of the public zeitgeist because Zellweger is a major face palm.

BREAKING: Renée Zellweger has reacted to the world reacting to her face. She doesn’t care.

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